Meeting the Need that Meets Me

“Purpose”; “meaning”; “calling”– these and similar concepts have become very popular in recent times. For many of us, it is no longer enough to work hard to support our family and pay a weekly visit to our place of worship be that mosque or mountain. We want to be a part of “changing the world”; “shifting the needle”; “making a difference”. This is because we are evolving and so is spirituality and faith – thank God.

As it dawns on us that charity (love) should begin at home, but that it certainly cannot end there, we might begin to feel a pull towards something to do that is bigger than ourselves. And we might – especially at the beginning of a year – look to volunteer at a creche or visit the sick or elderly. If we are feeling very brave, we might go on a mission trip or even think to start an NGO.

This can all be very useful, but to what extent is it ego-driven – all about my purpose; my calling; my giving back? Or possibly an appeasement of guilt or a way to shine up my personal brand? In the end, our true purpose – the kind that will have lasting impact – is found and met not by what we do, but by who we are; by how we show up in the world every minute of every day. Is it authentic? Is it about what I say it is? Is it rooted in love? Are my eyes, my mouth, my heart and my hands aligned as I reach out beyond myself?

I have come to this through involving myself in seemingly “big-hearted” works that in the end were much more to do with my ego than the subjects of my seeming love and compassion. This has been a deeply painful realisation.  

So now, I am just trying to show up differently. If there is someone selling litchis at the tollgate I will buy the litchis because this is someone’s livelihood. Do I need hangers? Perhaps not – but I can afford to buy the hangers. I will buy them as this will feed someone’s child. If I hear that people have lost everything in a fire in a small town or a flood somewhere, I will send what I can. So, what I am trying to do is meet the need that meets me, whether that is a national news story or a car guard who has perhaps done very little to guard my car.

Please note: I am generally awful at this. I get very irritated and frustrated and I often find myself miserly and tight spirited.  But I believe that my weak efforts to show up well are better-intentioned and hence more impactful than my grand gestures. I also believe that they mix with grace to create an impact beyond themselves.       

Sowing Seeds of Hope for South Africa

What a joy it always is to receive my weekly attitude adjustment from my friend and colleague Steuart Pennington – the founder and CEO of the website South Africa the Good News (www.sagoodnews.co.za).

It comes in the form of his newsletter that always strikes a necessary balance between acknowledging the myriad challenges we face as a country, whilst articulating the many positives. It is a great tonic for the soul! This week’s instalment was particularly good and – given our current very gloomy context – it was much needed. Based on the second “Reasons for Hope” document published by the Institute of Race Relations, the newsletter was prefaced by the words of Bill Gates who said: “Bad news arrives as drama, while good news is incremental – and not usually deemed newsworthy.” It gave some uplifting stats: That real GDP per capita has increased by over 30% since 1994; University Enrolment has risen from 211,000 students in 1985 to 825,000 in 2015 – a growth of 289%. South Africa has 11 universities ranked in the top 4% of universities worldwide. And life expectancy has increased by 10 years since 2002. There is much more – and you should visit the website and register for this newsletter – especially if you are feeling a little ‘dikbek’ about the state of the nation. But I am not writing this simply to regurgitate the content of this specific newsletter. Whilst reading it, I became deeply grateful for how tirelessly Steuart (and indeed some others) has devoted himself and his organisation to balancing the narrative in our country. We have so many committed to exposing the bad news, but so few who devote themselves to spreading the good. And we desperately need both for accountability to be driven on the one hand, but for hope to remain kindled on the other. For without hope, we lose the will to keep contributing to the South Africa we all believe in. Steuart is a true dealer in hope – and I admire him for never allowing himself to be distracted or deterred. There are certainly others out there doing this incredible work. One of them is Brent Lindeque the founder of www.goodthingsguy.com. These people have a remarkable ability to see hope where others see none. They have a way of making us feel like we can make a difference, one small positive thought or action at a time. In the face of huge criticism and accusations of being Pollyanna’s or ‘sunshine journalists’ – they just keep exposing the good; actively looking for reasons to celebrate life in South Africa. One thing that I can assure you is that your life here in South Africa will be happier and more hopeful if you get a good dose of the medicine that guys like Brent and Steuart dish up. Go to their websites, sign up and support what they are doing. I salute you gents. Keep sowing our fields with seeds of hope and all will be well in this marvellous place. Justin Foxton is founder of The Peace Agency.  His writing is dedicated to the memory of Anene Booysens, Emmanuel Josias Sithole and Suna Venter

Thuma Mina – Send Me: A Toolkit Part 2

This monthly feature is our response to the President’s invitation: “Thuma Mina – Send Me”. It is a toolkit of ideas to help our readers respond to that call.

In 2007, I returned from the UK having spent 6 incredible years living and working in London. Virtually as my plane touched down naysayers began questioning my decision: Why on earth had I come back? Hadn’t I heard that we were “going the way of Zimbabwe”? I had all this buzzing around in my head when – out on a Comrades training run up near the Kruger National Park – I greeted an old man carrying wood on his head. His reaction changed my life forever and set me on a brand new path. He stopped dead in his tracks (as did I, which isn’t difficult when I am running) and stared at me like I was nuts. I wondered fleetingly if I had offended him, but my fears were soon allayed as a huge, craggy smile broke out on his old face. We smiled warmly and greeted one another and in that moment a bridge was built between two very different human beings; one old; one privileged; one white; one rural. It was a bridge that I knew in my spirit was strong and permanent; it was a moment when I knew beyond all doubt that love was the beginning and end of all faith; the beginning and end of all life and purpose and the true meaning of truth, reconciliation and healing. My experience with that old man stood in stark contrast to the naysayers who had been so negative on my return. To the two of us, South Africa was indeed alive with possibility. This experience birthed a campaign called Stop Crime Say Hello. The thinking is that peace creation is an active process that we must all participate in daily with simple acts of kindness and bridge building. By doing this we slowly begin to chip away at the culture of violence that has been put in place over decades of disrespect for one another. As a call to action, Thuma Mina is so simple. It can and perhaps must begin with small actions repeated often; actions such as greeting people – especially those who are different to us – as we go about our daily lives. I guess the hardest part is slowing down for long enough to really see humanity in all its wondrous complexity and beauty and brokenness all around us. Because healing doesn’t happen in a hurry and bridges take time to build. The call is to do something – however small – to make a difference in one life at a time. I would love to dialogue with you around the call of Thuma Mina – Send me. You can contact me on justin@peaceagency.org.za. (www.peaceagency.org.za)

Thuma Mina – Send Me: A Toolkit Part 1

This monthly feature is my response to the President’s invitation: “Thuma Mina – Send Me”. It is a toolkit of ideas to help the public respond to that call.

Connecting NGO’s We have a dear friend and colleague by the name of Cindy McNally. Cindy lives in Durban. She is a wife, a busy mom to two little girls and a Chartered Accountant. She loves South Africa, social media and wine – not necessarily in that order. Two years ago, Cindy decided to marry her passion for these three things with her desire to make a difference. One night whilst drinking a glass of wine and playing around on social media, she began to do some research. Were there groups on social media that connected the tens-of-thousands of NGO’s in our country, enabling them to collaborate? She discovered to her amazement that there wasn’t; that NGO’s in our country are largely very lonely, lone rangers. SA NPO Network So, without further ado, she started a Facebook group called SA NPO Network and quickly NGO’s all over the country began to connect. She moderated these discussions in her spare time, whilst having a glass of wine. In two years – with no funding or PR or office – SA NPO Network has over 3000 followers. The group swops ideas, contacts, donations and products. It puts NGO’s in contact with donors and vice versa. Just recently a company in Johannesburg wishing to donate hundreds of boxes of ready meals was connected with a creche in rural Kwa-Zulu Natal via the group. A thousand catheters found needy patients, an unused jungle gym in Cape Town is now being played on by some very happy under privileged children – all via SA NPO Network. Thuma Mina – Send Me: A Toolkit. Cindy McNally is a living example of this. Her secret? She is doing something that is in her “sweet spot”, because it involves stuff she already does and loves. What do you love? It may be as simple as walking so you can greet people as you pass them by thereby creating bridges and connections across age, race and gender. You may love sport…you may love cooking. What can you do with these talents to lend a hand? That is the heartbeat of this call; no grand gestures necessary. Just us using what we have. This is your toolkit! Thuma Mina Workshops We will be running a series of workshops to help people get clarity on what they can do. For more information e-mail justin@peaceagency.org.za. In the meantime take a look at SA NPO Network on Facebook.