by Justin Foxton | Mar 9, 2015 | Citizen Participation, Democracy, Orphans & Vulnerable Children
“To be is to do” – Socrates
Whether we are aware of it or not we create the world we live in. In artistic terms each of us is continuously adding to the ever-changing universal canvas. Our mere existence has an impact on the environment and the way we live our lives exerts a certain pressure on the world causing it to shift in microcosmic ways as we get about our lives. Our daily parenting choices mould our children, the way we speak builds or breaks people; the choices we make concerning dignity, respect, humanity, tolerance and equality shape the world around us. We are powerful beyond our wildest imaginings.
This is at once humbling and extremely exciting for we have had placed in our hands the ability to influence our world either for good or for bad.
The question is, what kind of world am I helping to create? More specifically – what kind of South Africa am I helping to create?
This is a real bugger of a question because at a most basic level it suggests that – at least in part – what we see going on around us is of our own creation. Now before you hurl your newspaper/computer into the nearest recycling bin be aware that the world around us is made up of both good and bad – not just bad. So when considering how I am impacting the world around me I must reflect honestly on both of these aspects so that that I can challenge myself to become more of a creator for good.
But the most critical part of all this happens as we realise our power to change/create the world around us. When people get a taste of this reality they become passionate to do just that. Some of them may interpret this in an evil way others in a good way. But what is clear is that when this realisation strikes it becomes impossible to remain passive.
If we become passionate to influence the world for good it shows up in a number of ways in us including; little or no negativity; a ruthless avoidance of revenge; a passionate desire to see people reach their full potential; a passionate desire to see the country succeed; an uncompromising adherence to the law; compassion for self and others.
You may know of people who exhibit some of these values and behaviours. It is not that they have necessarily given up their lives to start soup kitchens or read to the aged (though these are wonderful things to do if you are so inclined). It is simply that they have taken the time to reflect on themselves and how they can contribute to the creation of a better world. Even in the reflection there is a degree of change because as we change so the environment around us changes.
I have been privileged to write this column for close on 5 years. During this time I have asked each of us to do just what I am describing above; reflect on how we can help to build our beloved country. I have suggested that we greet one another regardless of race, gender or religion; that we pick up litter on our verges and fix what is broken in our neighbourhoods; that we quit our negativity and acknowledge what is working in our country; that we stop using racist language. I have asked that we consider adoption or that we mentor a child.
Readers of this column have supplied nearly 600 impoverished school girls with a 3 year supply of washable sanitary pads enabling them to stay in school during their periods; you have given funds to help restock shops looted during the xenophobic attacks in Gauteng; you have mentored dozens of vulnerable kids throughout the Durban area. It has been an incredible journey.
And I am really excited to let you know that the journey continues with the launch of my book called The Flipside. It is a collection of my columns published here in The Mercury and has been generously sponsored by the Democracy Development Program. We will be launching the book soon and I would like to invite readers to that launch where you will receive a free, personalised copy of the book. All you have to do is e-mail in and tell me a story of what you are doing/have done – big or small – to help create a South Africa we can all be proud of. The first 20 respondents will be sent an official invitation. My e-mail address is justin@peaceagency.org.za
I look forward to meeting you at the launch.
This column is dedicated to the memory of 17 year old Anene Booysens: gang raped, mutilated and murdered.
by Justin Foxton | Oct 31, 2014 | Citizen Participation, Orphans & Vulnerable Children, Women & Gender Issues
One of my hardest lessons in recent years has been what 19th Century Saint Therese of Lisieux called “The Little Way”. She was a simple Catholic nun who came to a profound understanding of the fact that change – redemption if you like – occurs only as we embrace The Little Way and embark on a life of small, intentional acts of love and compassion and repeat them often.
If like me you wish to see and even be a part of big and immediate personal and societal change then this is a very bitter pill to swallow – particularly in a country with so many issues.
Take education as an example. Captured in a recent front page article entitled “Matric drop-out rate ‘scary’”, the state of education in South Africa is a genuine concern for most of us but seemingly too vast to do anything about.
But the question we must ask is, what does such a vast issue look like in the context of the Little Way?
Enter the humble sanitary pad.
More than 60% of girls in our country stay away from school for up to a week during their period simply because they cannot afford sanitary products. Over the course of a year these young ladies could feasibly miss between 70 and 80 days of school. This contributes to the vast numbers of school kids who enroll in grade 2 but who drop out before Matric.
Enter Sue Barnes – founder of non-profit organisation Project Dignity which distributes Subz Pads and Pants. These are fully washable, reusable sanitary pad-cum-pantie sets designed specifically for less privileged girls. A pack containing 2 100% cotton panties and 6 ultra-absorbent, multi-layered washable pads costs just R130 and will last for 3 years.
This is a classic example of the Little Way becoming the big way. Just R130 can change a young girl’s life and provide her with the products she needs to keep attending school.
As a result of recent events that led to the writing of this post (the original version appeared in The Mercury) The Peace Agency will be partnering with Project Dignity to help provide more girls with washable sanitary pads. We will begin by supporting an existing initiative working into needy schools around Richards Bay and we will go from there.
If you would like to sponsor a Project Destiny girl at R130 for a 3 year supply of washable, reusable sanitary pads please contact me on justin@peaceagency.org.za
Let us do this together so that the Little Way may one day become the big way.
This column is dedicated to the memory of 17 year old Anene Booysens: gang raped, mutilated and murdered.
by Justin Foxton | Sep 10, 2014 | Citizen Participation, Orphans & Vulnerable Children
She is the belle of the ball; resplendent in a magnificent full-length evening gown with glittering accessories. Her hair has been done professionally – perhaps for the first time in her 18 years of life – and her radiant smile reflects a heart that has quite literally never been happier. Tomorrow she will return to her dormitory and the drudgery of life in an orphanage, but right now she is a princess whose dream of attending her Matric dance like all the other girls – has come true.
He is a little boy with enormous talent. Give him half a chance and he will perform for you. A tune played on the radio becomes the backing track to a dance routine; the actors in the TV programmes he loves to watch are mimicked with ease. Even at 13 he is a consummate performer. His drama teacher says he shows genuine promise; he could go on to write his drama exams; sing, dance, act – make a career out of it if he wanted to. Each week after his private acting class he goes back to the children’s home and shows the other kids what he has learnt. They clap and cheer wildly for him.
She has a chronic illness and battles to take her medication. She has no Mum or Dad to remind her so it just gets forgotten. As a result her health is deteriorating rapidly. But the good news is that that was 6 months ago. Now? She takes her meds daily and is happier and healthier than she has ever been. She will always need to manage her illness – but she will live a full and productive life.
These are just some of the stories – some of the many stories – of children whose lives have been transformed through the power of mentorship. These kids are all part of our Bright Stars mentorship programme which pair’s adult mentors with vulnerable kids in need of love and support.
The adults who mentor these children are ordinary folk like you and I; some are themselves young – just out of school; others have kids of their own; several are older folk – retired but eager to use their experience and wisdom to make a difference. All of them have this in common: they acknowledge that our children are our future.
In my research on ways that we can individually act to change our society and create peace and stability, mentorship has repeatedly presented itself as arguably the most powerful tool we have at our disposal. Whilst initiatives and programmes are often effective in treating symptoms, mentorship seems to go to the very heart of the matter and treat the cause.
The reality is that when kids have no adult role model; no respected elder holding their hand on their journey of life – they invariably derail. We often use the metaphor of a fence on which all kids sit. If they are unloved, uncared for and without boundaries they will fall onto the wrong side of that fence. This side is a life in which childhood dreams of Matric dances and becoming a star are replaced with a life of unwanted pregnancies, drugs, alcohol, gangs and crime.
However, statistics prove that the simple act of mentoring a child often has the effect of causing them to fall onto the right side of the fence; the side on which dreams can be pursued, healthy relationships developed and a fulfilled life led.
And what does it take? A child who has someone who asks her the simple question, “how was school today” is exponentially more likely to finish school to Matric level than one who is never asked that question. Imagine if all of us adults committed to just one child other than our own and asked them that simple question. The effect would be huge.
Mentorship is something we can all do regardless of our age or how much time we have on our hands. In terms of the Bright Stars programme we train up our mentors, match them with a suitable youngster near them and ask them to spend just one hour a week with that kid for a minimum of one year. Within this structure we see our best results.
And will you have to arrange for your mentee to attend her Matric dance? Will you have to organize private acting classes or encourage them to take their medication on a daily basis? No not at all. But you may find that as your relationship grows you will be moved to help them become the best they can be; you will want to help make their dreams come true and you will want to help them live full and productive lives.
What I know from experience is this; when we help kids in this way it is not only them that benefit. We ourselves change and become better and happier versions of ourselves.
It is just how it works.
Justin Foxton is founder of The Peace Agency.
The next Bright Stars training session is on Saturday 13 September. For more information e-mail info@peaceagency.org.za
by Justin Foxton | Aug 9, 2014 | Citizen Participation, Leadership, Orphans & Vulnerable Children
On one level – the macro level – poverty would appear to be government’s problem to solve. Of course non-governmental organizations have a significant role to play in the alleviation of poverty, but generally speaking we look to government to solve this issue.
This is of course correct. Government needs to devise and implement strategies that will address widespread poverty in South Africa.
But on another level – the practical, micro level – poverty is a citizen issue. How can it not be when it is literally all around us? For the poor amongst us their lived reality is that life might be sustained by government – just – in the form of a grant, but it can only improve through our actions.
I hear a disillusioned groan. Is placing yet another coin into the outstretched hand of the pauper materially improving her quality of life? Is it altering the overall landscape of poverty? Is going through our wardrobe and donating our used clothes to the poor making any difference – or is it, perhaps, just assuaging our guilt – or worse, providing us with a convenient outlet for our old junk?
I would suggest that – whilst we need to continue to give in this way – we also need to become more creative in how we deal with poverty. We need to ask deeper questions of ourselves and those questions could yield transformative solutions.
Fundamentally the question needs to move beyond; “what do I have in my hands to give?” to the slightly more probing question of; “what do I have in my head and my heart to give?” This takes us beyond placing Band-Aids over suppurating wounds into the realm of achievable, long-term solutions. Let me give you a couple of examples to stir your soul:
Gareth Simpson – LeadSA’s Kwa-Zulu Natal youth hero of the year – was just 13 years old when he came up with an idea that would materially improve the lives of poor children. He was participating in a schools rugby tournament and was shocked by the fact that many of the boys had no rugby boots or – in some cases – jerseys or even rugby balls. His words are telling: “I knew I had to do something but wasn’t sure how to go about it.”
As an aside – how often have you witnessed a need, been moved to do something about it, but talked yourself out of it because you didn’t know where to begin? Gareth gives us a clue as to what to do. He spoke to his parents!
When you get an idea or an impulse to act that is bigger than you are – take it to people you trust; your parents, your spouse, your boss, your pastor – and discuss it with them. I have heard of so many case studies where those people have become partners in making the idea a reality. This was certainly the case for Gareth.
He began to collect second hand rugby boots from the kids at his school. He cleaned them, fixed them up and gave them to boys who needed them. His campaign – Rugby Recycled – was born and to date he has been responsible for providing more than 300 pairs of boots as well as jerseys, shorts and kit bags to schools in KwaMashu and Inanda. Gareth is not solving the macro issue of poverty but he is using what is in his head and his heart to improve the lives of poor kids. What an inspiration.
My second example is of a hero who probably won’t win any awards for what he is doing – but who should. Dr. Kesan Moodley. Dr. Moodley is a top Durban-based dentist. A couple of months back I approached him and asked if he would be willing to treat a youngster I mentor; a poor kid who in 20 years has never had the experience of visiting a dentist and was consequently in much pain. Dr. Moodley agreed without hesitation and over numerous sessions, sorted out the young man’s teeth free of charge.
This would have been a significant contribution in itself but Dr. Moodley went beyond that. We spoke of Bright Stars – the child and youth mentorship programme that The Peace Agency runs. Dr. Moodley offered to treat the kids on the programme who most urgently need dentistry. He sees a few each month – fitting them around his busy schedule, and the lives – not to mention smiles – of these children are being changed forever. Like Gareth, Dr. Moodley is using his passions and his talents to materially improve the quality of life of our nations most needy.
It is easy to become frustrated even exhausted by the grinding poverty that surrounds us. But we need look no further than what gets us out of bed in the morning – and offer that.
Chances are it is just what’s needed.
Justin Foxton is founder of The Peace Agency.
This column is dedicated to the memory of 17 year old Anene Booysen: gang raped, mutilated and murdered
by Justin Foxton | May 29, 2014 | Orphans & Vulnerable Children
“Bring Back Our Girls” has become a global campaign involving everyone from rock stars, politicians and sportspeople to ordinary members of the public. As a result the plight of 250 kidnapped Nigerian school girls is known the planet over.
But a recent Sunday Times article by Dan Hodges puts the movement into context and provides a wake-up call as we turn our attention to another child-focused campaign – Child Protection Week.
His contention is that whilst the world has successfully expressed its outrage at the abduction of these innocent girls we are currently impotent to do anything to successfully liberate them. So much so that we have resorted to sending the modern day version of a message in a bottle to Boko Haram – the terrorist group holding the youngsters captive; a plea of no more than 140 characters usually prefaced by the familiar Twitter-friendly hashtag.
The point is a telling one: it has been over a month since the girls were kidnapped. Why are the political and spiritual leaders of the free world; US President Barak Obama and his wife Michelle, UK Prime Minister David Cameron, Archbishop Desmond Tutu to name but a few – holding up little bits of cardboard with messages pleading – with terrorists – for the release of the girls? Is this the best they can do? Have we replaced quick, decisive action – in this case actually liberating these girls – with catchy social media slogans? On a more personal level do we feel that we have done our bit when we hit the retweet button, like the Facebook post or forward the e-mail containing the catchy slogan?
And how much good does this do? Will the girls be released because all those famous people posed with the Bring Back Our Girls slogan or because I retweeted it? Or do we involve ourselves with these campaigns; posing with slogans, circulating no make-up selfies for cancer; forwarding on the plight of animals; signing on-line petitions – because we want to help but don’t know what else to do? (By the way social media campaigns are also big business so some of us do it for the money – but that’s a whole different story.)
Now I am not saying that we should not create awareness. What I am saying is that awareness must not trump action – ever. Awareness must bring about action. It must be created so that we can fight a more strategic battle equipped with the necessary facts. A direct message to Boko Haram does not do this. On one level it can be seen as an ineffectual but harmless awareness campaign. On another level it gives us and our impotence away to Boko Haram. It says: “None of us has a clue how to handle this situation so we are just going to ask nicely”. They must be laughing.
And this brings me back to Child Protection Week which runs in the first week of June. During such campaigns – Child Protection Week, 16 days of Activism for No Violence Against Women and Children etc – we hear celebrities, activists and talk show hosts quoting slogans, catch phrases and statistics many of which are inaccurate. We then repeat, retweet and forward these in an attempt to ‘do our bit’ for creating awareness. Let me give you an example. You may have heard the phrase; “a child is raped every 3 minutes in our country.” Apart from the fact that the claim is unsubstantiated, what happens when such a message is repeated in an anti-child abuse campaign?
It demonstrates to every child abuser, paedophile and trafficker that they can continue what they are doing without much fear of being caught. It sends a loud message that the good guys are losing the battle and the bad guys can continue their abuse unfettered. Ironically, in forwarding this kind of quote you may well be contributing to the crisis of child abuse in our country.
And what about the well known phrase; “South Africa is the rape capital of the world”? Does this not normalize rape; even suggest that South Africa is a safe-haven for rapists and people with abusive tendencies?
We must be cautious before getting involved in social media campaigns and ask ourselves if promoting a particular message is inadvertently doing more harm than good.
In the case of Child Protection Week, here are three practical things you can rather do:
- If you are aware of a child needing protection from abuse, neglect, hunger or physical danger report it to the police, Child Welfare or Childline.
- Mentor a vulnerable child (for more information visit www.peaceagency.org.za)
- Volunteer your time or expertise to NGO’s working with children in need of care and protection. Feel free to e-mail for a list of these in your area. justin@peaceagency.org.za
Justin Foxton is founder of The Peace Agency.
This column is dedicated to the memory of 17 year old Anene Booysen: gang raped, mutilated and murdered.
by Justin Foxton | May 5, 2014 | Citizen Participation, Orphans & Vulnerable Children
Last week I had a fascinating exchange with a 5 year old. Now in my experience 5 year olds generally provide one with amusing dinner party material as they are unencumbered by social graces or political correctness. They say what they mean and they mean what they say. Like the little girl who looked at her Mum examining her dressed-and-ready-for-work self in the mirror and asked; “why does your bum look so big Mum?” Or when the Grade R class was asked what their Daddy’s did and one child shouted out proudly; “he watches TV all day”.
Now this particular exchange happened whilst I was out shopping for a birthday present for my wife with our 3 year old daughter. We were browsing around a mall when in walked said 5 year old with his Mum. Without missing a beat he headed straight for Lolly and I and blurted out loudly; “why are you peach and she’s brown?”
The question was utterly disarming but not in the way you might imagine. It came across not as being impolite, rude or even racist but as being honest, genuine and brave. What I knew as I responded to this little boy was that – even at his tender age (or perhaps because of it) – he was someone who lives with his hands wide open to the world.
The lad’s mother was mortified: “I am so sorry – that certainly does not come from us!” she said turning crimson.
I bent down next to the young boy whose lip had started to quiver a little and told him that I thought it was an excellent question. I explained that Lolly was our daughter and that she was adopted; that was why her skin was a different colour to mine. I assured his Mum she had no reason to be upset; that her son had been brave to ask the question.
As I reflected on the interaction, I wondered why it had delighted rather than offended me. I am still not totally sure I have the answer to that – such is the profoundness of 5 year olds – but here are some thoughts:
As I mentioned earlier, the question and the innocent way in which it was asked, conjured up an image of ‘open-handedness’ in my mind. Usually open-handedness is associated with generosity, but there are a number of other associations that this little boy brought to the concept:
Firstly, he was not asking the question with any kind of racist edge; he was asking it out of genuine curiosity. Open-handedness suggests an eagerness to learn; to receive understanding; to be ‘shared with’. The question was so disarming because – in general – we do not live like this at all. An eagerness to learn and to understand is often associated with weakness; we wouldn’t have to ask the question if we weren’t so stupid as to not know the answer. In addition to this, we perceive that asking seemingly difficult questions places us in a position of vulnerability – and we generally do all we can to avoid that. So, whilst I know that people look at my family and ask a similar question to; “why are you peach and she’s brown” in their minds, they seldom give voice to that question because to do so would be way too vulnerable. The truth however is that society will not heal on any deep level here in South Africa until we are prepared to become vulnerable with one another; to ask and be asked the uncomfortable questions about one another’s race, culture, religion – whatever.
Secondly, this little boy was not constrained by political correctness which is – by its very nature – the antithesis of open-handedness. It is a stifling and claustrophobic practice that ensures that interactions with people who are different to us are kept skin deep. This young lad cut right to the marrow and in doing so, enabled a real conversation to take place – right there in the middle of a shopping mall. Political correctness is another major barrier to deep healing here in South Africa.
And thirdly that little boy acknowledged difference. This is perhaps the most profound lesson to learn from his question. Unaffected by the improbable and frankly unnecessary notion of ‘colour blindness’, he saw difference and he acknowledged it. You see difference is not to be ignored, it is to be embraced, and we can only embrace difference – or perhaps better put, embrace those different to us – if we live with open hands. And until we do this – learn to understand and enjoy rather than merely tolerate one another’s differences – there is a limit to the depth of the healing that can take place.
When I grow up I want to be just like that little boy – and live with my hands wide open.
Justin Foxton is founder of The Peace Agency.
This column is dedicated to the memory of 17 year old Anene Booysen: gang raped, mutilated and murdered.
